The day WE became the Parents

After a long day of canceled flights and a hectic work schedule, I finally arrived in New Orleans, Louisiana for the 2014 DAD2.0 summit.  This was a tiresome journey, but I was excited to have made the trip despite my heart wanting to be back in New York City (NYC) with my family, knowing my great uncle was dying. I was told by everyone to go to New Orleans (NOLA) and enjoy my time with the fathers of the NYCDadsGroup. As much as I wanted to be with my family, I knew there was nothing more I could do back home. Upon my arrival and by persistence, my wife informed me of the inevitable, Unk had passed away. This was expected, but I thought there may have been a chance it would be a few more days away…but that was out of our hands.

Over the next few days, I went on with life as planned.  I attended Dad2.0 and enjoyed myself.  I had the opportunity to hear many great speakers and met an amazing group of fathers.  On Sunday, I was able to get the first direct flight back to NYC to join my family at the wake for Unk. A wake is a wake; it was a time of sharing and remembering. This particular death was also the end of a generation in our family.  Unk was the last of three Schliessman bothers to pass away. My grandfather was the middle brother, passing away 14 years and one day prior to Unk. My other great uncle Roger, the older brother, passed away seven years and three weeks prior. (Yes, I have a crazy thing for remembering dates and events!) 

It was not until I was sitting at lunch, after Unk’s funeral, that it hit me.  It was then that I realized that “We” (my sister, cousins, and I) are now “The Parents” of this family. Until now, my parents had been “the parents” and although my grandparents have both passed away, we still had Unk (my great uncle) as the senior generation.  During dinner, my cousins and I had been joking about how our parents were all sitting together on one end of the table and we had been together on the other side. My daughter was sitting at the head of the table looking down towards my parents and it clicked. “We” are now “the parents” of the family and my parents are now the “senior generation”. The unspoken baton was now passed: Freaky? Scary? Did this really just happen?  Don’t get me wrong, I have been a parent from the moment I found out Jen was pregnant, but I always felt like a child within the family structure.  It was now that it became a reality.  My sister, cousins, and I are now the middle generation. 

This may not mean much to some, but in a family where Sunday afternoon lunch was a constant, monthly family dinners & yearly vacations are the norm; this was a turning point.  Maybe it hit me more because I am the oldest “Grand Child” or the first one to have a child, but on February 3^rd 2014, I became a member of “the Parents”.  I expect to not be at the kiddy table at our next family dinner.