Forced Vacation

Recently I found myself home on a “forced vacation” ...if you wish to call it that. I was in between jobs and taking care of my little Bay-boo (2yr old daughter) full time. These few weeks really helped me and my wife put things into perspective. Although my mind was occupied with job searching, I often took a step back and lived in the moment. I truly know that I am blessed and taken care of by God. No amount of worry was going to change the place I found myself, so I had to let go and live life as it was.

I have been a very hands-on father since before my daughter was born. When my wife went back to work, I took two weeks off to help her ease back into her routine and adjust to her new title as “working mom”. It was during those two weeks that I fell in love with fatherhood and wanted to be a full time Stay At Home Dad (SAHD). I enjoyed being a SAHD and knew I wanted to make changes in my career that would allow for a better work/life balance. When I returned to work, I made it a point to take advantage of my company’s workplace agility program which allowed me to work from home a few days a week giving me more time with my then 4 month old daughter. It was at that point that I started my search for activities for us to do together. My searches lead me to the NYC Dads Group which opened the doors to many activities across the city at all different times of the day, on almost any day of the week. I was able to complete my work and schedule meet-ups that fit our schedule. This group of dads was a life saver for me. We, as a family, had gotten into a great groove and to a happy point.

Fast forward a year. I was back in the office daily working on a transition project with less and less time being able to be as involved as I would have liked to have been. This lead to more creative ways for me to find time with my daughter, i.e. weekend Gymboree classes, family walks through the park, etc. Ultimately, my task for work was completed and I ended up in present day on this work hiatus. What was I to do? Where was I going to go? My wife and I both knew we would be okay, but I was now a full time stay at home dad, my dream job, wasn’t it?

There had been much talk over the past few months about “Lean In” by Sheryl Sandberg and I was starting to get it. I was now the SAHD I always wanted to be. I needed to take this opportunity to really lean into my family. I started to take those steps back and live in the moment. I had fun counting the steps as I claimed them with my daughter at the mall. I didn’t lose my patience as easily; I was grounded in the present. I looked for teachable moments in all areas of our daily life. As people around us had been panicking and worrying, the two of us stopped and smelled the roses. We leaned on each other and parented together, despite the change in roles. I am not going to lie and say I didn’t have a care in the world, however, I knew that things would turn out alright and I got to have an amazing few weeks of one-on-one time with my daughter.

Ultimately, the perfect job opportunity was presented to me and I took it. This new position takes me away from home more than my last position did, but it allows me the ability to, once again, work from home at will. I have taken full advantage of this ability once again and enjoy my “Wash Wednesdays” and “Daddy and Tina Fun Fridays”.

If you take nothing else from my experience, learn to step back and see the teachable moments with your children. Count the steps, call out the colors of passing cars, and enjoy the present.